Last weekend, a woman was shopping at terrigal supermarket where she selected:
- 2 litres of low fat milk
- a carton of eggs
- 2 litres of orange juice
- a head of lettuce
- half a dozen tomatoes
- a 500g jar of coffee
- a 250g pack of bacon
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, Grug, drunk as a mute (see picture) was standing behind her and watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the Grug the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was
intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to
her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said,
"Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
Grug replied, "Cos' you're ugly."
THIS POSTING IS NOW THE OFFICIAL
"SALMON JOKES PAGE"
- LEAVE AS MANY JOKES AS YOU CAN IN COMMENTS BELOW.
All jokes below are exactly that, a joke. If you get upset over anything you read, we're not forcing you to read the jokes so just go somewhere else, losers.
13 comments:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
fuking classic!!!
You looked smashed enough to do it G-Rug!
hahaha good one!
hey can we get a jokes folder or something on this site
fuk oath i got millions of dirty jokes
How do you make a baby drink?
Put it in a blender
Whats red silver and runs around screaming?
A baby with a fork in each eye
What's red, slimy and crawls up womens legs?
A home-sick abortion
Whats the difference between a train carriage and a mis-carriage?
You can't eat a train carriage
Whats small red and in screaming agony?
A skinned baby covered in salt
Whats black and white and can't walk through a revolving door?
A nun with a javelin through her head.
I've got WAY more.
John I know you have a few to rip out.. and now we know that Jack is a racist too, we don't have to tread lightly!! haha
I've put the link to this posting under "MUST SEE SITES" so we can always come back and put in more rude, crude, but fucking funny jokes! yewww!
what is the difference between an abo and a park bench?
the park bench can support a family
we need some jokes that are actually clever....well the park bench is but u know what i mean, lets stick to not being too fucked up in the head
Really should of seen this coming, but lets not get to crazy.
There are some jokes which are funny, and some which will get us into trouble.
Stay cool boys.. stay cool.
A peadophile and a small boy were walking through the woods on a stormy night when a bolt of lightning cracked through the sky. "I'm scared" said the boy to which the peado replied, "YOU THINK YOUR SCARED?? I've gotta walk back by myself!"
Piss-weak effort boys, im bored out of my head at work and you can't even make me laugh...
haha grug did you really do that? that is funny..
tom yours arnt funny, they're just disturbing.
Q. Two Umina girls jump off a cliff. Who wins?
> A. Society.
> Q. What does a Umina girl use as protection during sex?
>
> A. A bus shelter.
> Q. What do you call a 30 year old Umina girl?
> A. Granny.
> Q. Why did the Umina girl cross the road?
> A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.
> Q. What do you call a Umina girl in a white tracksuit?
> A. The bride.
> Q. What's the first question during a Umina quiz night?
> A. What you looking at?
> Q. Two Umina kids in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman.
Q. What's the difference between a Umina boy and a Umina girl?
A. The girl has a higher sperm count.
love cilia :)
What does Antartica and Virgina Tech Uni have in common?
They are both -34 today!
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